TeaRs And SmiLes

tmr is sports day!!! dun even know why am i excited for. actually im not. cos im not in any events. yep. wahaha. i dun think i should do something so 'nice' for my class. since. ah hem. yeah.

eeee. idiots. zhi tao n christopher damn kiam pa. dots man. =x. i changed the blog skin! yeah. wait a while ya. for the animation to load! yeap yeap. tt's all about it la. damn tired about yesterday NCC IMT. like. din really do well. passed. but not good. so yea. got punished and thing like that. uh huh.


i miss kin yang and ivor and adam and abu adn carissa.

i miss the laughters i used to hear from them.
i miss the times we spent together in the lounge.
i miss the times when we tickled each other.

today art lesson damn pai seh. stupid tpt. argh. oh well. i have to go to IMT- CLASSIFICATION tmr. i dun wan. like so extra. due to my long absence from ncc, i have not got my rank. than it's like so pai seh lor.people have rank i no rank. clever la. not say no rank. but a rank 1 rank lower than the others. LCP LYNETTE LEE. go and die la. den atiqah dun wan come tmr. sian lor. liddat left me 1 sec 3 LCP toot toot go for IMT la. smart la. idiot. nvm. luckily tmr got ivor pei. if not. sian liao. wateva la lynette. it's gonna be damn pai seh. cant blame me for not coming. it's not i dun wan come. is they make me dun wan come. all go die.

todays monday right? M-O-N-D-A-Y. correct? i just can't seem to get tt in my head. in a way tt something keeps telling me it's tuesday today. sighs. wat has actually happenend?

okok. 1st thing, the blog gone haywires. will fixed it asap. most probably is change new skin. muahaha. see long also sian rite? actually, im nt quite sian of this skin yet. it's like. see all those [x]s all around. will be like damn pissed off. nt nice ma.

2nd thing. my voice left me. it felt tt it was time to change to a new owner. so, im now voiceless. actually who to blame? it's Mrs Ang. our lit teacher. thought she went away for good. but she came back today, kept asking me to read the lit text. and like how am i going to say the pledge next morning for the assembly? get someone to replace me. sadiq will kill me! see how important this voice means to me!! actually, im toking nonsence. u can actually jus click the red [x] on the top right hand corner.

3rd thing. ALMOST whole fruits family came to my house. except for kah jun. whaha. ok la. they fooled around play here and shout there. play blackjack. 21 points kum truth or dare. so yea. so far no dares. actually there is 1. but jus dun remind them argh. if not, it will be damn paiseh.

4th thing. today during art. i had to submit my so beautiful and nice art work. den Ms Ng told me to touch up. so sat infront of tpt. cos hot ma. den he spilled water all over my art paper!! i din know wat to respond. like stoned. cos it was like hard work? ok lar. except for the fireworks. it was done when i was watching "ru hua" [ wo de yi ke xin muack muack] so yea. but overall it was my WORK.. luckily not badly damaged. if not he kena. surprisingly, i kept calmed. eh eh. mark down in ur book. i did not scream or shout ok. i kept calmed. whaha

.... ssch half day. cos tmr is good friday. dismissed at 1145am. quite early larhs.ate then came bk

ms teo told me and atiqah tt we cant quit NCC. have to be in it till we graduate. shes gonna return me my uniforms and stuffs. stupid right? last night i clear my room. i threw away the belt le. now she wants me and atiqah back. die. die. die. hais. she's calling my mom. sayin wat hafta go bk. don't even dare to think wat is my mom reaction towards this matter. hais. scarry. hope something positive. i dun mind going back lar. maybe jus i don't have enough confidence to pass all those test and proficiency badges and courses. i have low self esteem for i hate myself. yea.so it's kinda hard. for me. so how? any ideas?

gt back the result slip. dun wanan talk about it. passed lar. but like kns.

im feeling bored

very bored.

bored till i could jus jump off the building.

everything is so way wrong. even my ice cream taste like cereal. =x. lame right? ice cream leh. taste like cereal. hopeless. oh well. did i mention? my ice cream tastes like cereal? ok lah. i was jus being repetative.

tmr is gonna be freaky.

REPORT CARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

but why steph teo nvr call my ma? funny. haha.. must be i scored till too hopeless. no nd call. hais. so fast lorh. holidays finishing. homework, not finishing,=x. hais. SIAN LA.. AND THE FREAKING HOMEWORK IS LIKE ART LORH?! arGh. and ss. and chinese. this happens when u said u went out to study. and yet. forget to bring the textbook. &^%&^%

ok la. its me. went out to many times. dun blame me. blame tpt. wait for him n jh so long. cho cho cho cho. ARGH. forget it.

tong hua.

a sad yet nice song. touches the heart. very saddening, meaningful.

i listened to it. over and over again. yang sent me the mtv. haiss. so sad.

he learnt the song for her sake. she hoped to hear him play one day. play on a stage where people come jus to be his audience. practice after practice. he got the song. yet. they girl had an incurable illness. dying soon. on the day itself, whr he was supposed to play for his audiences, he called her, jus to let her hear him play their song. at the last word, " jie ju (ending)., she closed her eyes.

memories came back. he knew she was gone. forever.

ni ku zhe dui wo shuo
tong hua li dou shi pian ren de
wo bu ke neng shi ni de wang zi
ye xu ni bu hui dong
cong ni shuo ai wo yi hou
wo de tian kong
xing xign dou liang le.

wo yuan bian cheng tong hua li
ni ai de na ge tian shi
zhang kai shuang shou
bian cheng zhi pang shou hu ni
ni yao xiang xing
xiang xing wo men hui xiang tong hua gu shi li
xing fu he kuai le shi jie ju

jus changed my blog skin.nice rites? it's a BLACK background ok. thats the main point. and the song ' perfect ' nice. learnin tt song. sighs.

went to library today. to study!! with tpt,jannie,wc,jh. hahas. for awhile larhs. den went to jannie house play play. hahas. damn farni. jh wore jannie's pinafore.and looked damn hilarious. we applied lipstick for him and to be exact. he looked a lil like a mamasan. haha. but he looked 'girl' too larh. damn farni. hahas.

left ard 5.15. saw larry and chen yang n gang. ridin bike. hope mathew falls. =p.

Cuz we lost it all
Nothing lasts forever
I'm sorry
I can't be perfect
Now it's just too late
And we can't go back
I'm sorry
I can't be perfect.

im jus far too imperfect. =]

the guys are back! went to fetched them jus now at sch. hahas. all turned so red and dark.. lols. oh well. glad they're back.

anyways, the F.F url. : http://fruiitsforliife.blogspot.com

hehes. fruity members.. ask me for password eh. dun ferget. =]. esp kj n car. rmber!!!! arghs.

should i post w/c n jannie pic?! hahahs. oops =x

lalala. the pic we took last last sat. acting as liu xing hua yuan. finally cant post pics. hahas.im slow yayas. anyways. i created a blog for the fruits family!! wohoo. gt my guiatr yest. metal string and damn sharp. created blisters on my fingers. sighs.but it's damn nice ok.

jh,kj,wc,clinton went to pahang. bah kut teh at there. almost half of the guys from fruits family is there. haisssssss... it's like damn bored. oh well. 2 more days. actually. im feelin jealous larhs. like they go and i cant? my mother larhs. hais. dun wanna talk abt it. now is so sians lorhs.

car not online.jannie also. everyone nt online. and it's only 9 people online on my contact list. not used to it lehs. so tired until i could fall for another sleep. snorees

went out again. 2 sats in a row. with the people. tpt and jh this time. others cun make it. i was kinda not right so, i hafta go out. if not. i don't know wat will happen to me at home.

1st thing: Fruits Family.
we are creatin distance in between each other. it may be called "fruits family" but we are often seen seperately. nt say must be with each other all the times. but. sometimes, it's jus tt we dun really communicate. =] i hope fer the best. moreover, the head doesn't really care tt much. sighs. it's up to me and jh, the 2nd generation of the F.F to consider real much about this thingy. sighs. JH!! more work eh!!

2nd thing: today's outin.
nth much larhs. juz tt i hafta wait for the guys for exact 1 hour. sighs. nvm larhs. they apologized and i wasn't really into waitin for them. i was in my lala land.

went to bugis de arcade. din play much. nth caught my eye.. oh well.. hahas. shoped ard and went into stores to find 3 pigs for junny, jannie and tpt. yeap. found 3 small ones. and they bought it at "gift a name" alort of stuffs lar. saw a cap. and looked real nice. 19.90. hais. in the end, din buy but instead, i wore junny's cap. LOLs. he threw away that thing. i was glad. it was a new beginnin for him. sighs. intended to take pics but thought tt the whole fruits weren;'t here, so forget it. shopped ard and saw lotsa stuffs =]. includin "une nana land"

3rd thing: ECP.
after shoppin in the air-con place, and we din even buy anythin, we went to east coast park. ate carrot cake. jh," ZHU REN WEI KUAI LE ZHI BEN " hahahahahs. played with the water. i went into serious consideration abt him. was he worth? still cnt find the ans. for jh, it was kinda complicated and confusin for him. sighss. we built the "FRUITS RESERVOIR" =]

4th thing: Jeeva
look at his msn nick

" I LOVE POH SUAN MORE THAN ANYTHING ELSE"

if u know who she is, u practically will be laughing ur head off.

so fast. march started. tt means 3 months are gone. FOREVER. yeps. so fast. i did damn badly for common test. kill me someone. argh..

it's gettin sian-er and sian-er everyday. the ang ku kuih picks on me all the time. ask chicken if u dun believe me. he was the one tt saw everythin. but instead i gt scolded. so nice. i don't feel like talking. i don't feel like smilin. i don't feel like goin to school. for the feeling of being the 'outcast' is horrible.

i donno. maybe tiffy is sufferin the same fate as me. but it's really horrible. i mean. maybe i shouldn't even make anymore friends. do i really make a difference in anybody's life? why should i go to sch when i go , it;s still a school and when i don't go it's still a sch. no one smses, no one cares. so nice. what's the point of havin friends? when they practically don't even understand you? they go for fame, popularity and steads. they stead for the sake of havin a term called to them "stead". juz like that. simple and easy.

u seat in a classroom. tt has 4 tables. it used to be the places whr u and ur other 3 buddies always sit. but in the end. some others sat there and they jus kept quiet.not even helpin u to say " my fren sits here" am i invisble or something? it's like "HELLO?! I SEAT THERE!!" so this shows la. im not important. thk you man. so u seat alone at a very isolated corner of the bloody classroom. it's then.u realize that a friend that u seldom talk to but u still do care about came and drag another table and chair, jus for sake of sittin next to this lonely ger. he was not afraid of being scolded by the long winded teacher. and he goes "Lynette, i seat with you". tt actually warms my heart.

next class, fearin that u will be lefted out again. u ran to the classroom and sat alone. beside the window where u can see a nice view from. u sat alone. ur that friend who jus cared for you again, did the same thing, drag another table and chair and sat right next to you. i could almost cried at that point. he actually realized my existence. i left the classroom for the washroom, when i came bk. i saw him shooing off another classmate, sayin "Lynette sits here. u seat another place" he was my true one and only friend. tt was what i was lookin for. he laughs with you, he stands up for you, he waits for you, he walks with you, he helps u. best of all, he cares for you.

and who says tt there can be no friendship between boys and girls? there's one livin friendship tt you just read tt came from a true story.

but still, with him, i still feel left out and im gettin more and more used to it. for he cant accompany me 24/7.

wat a story.