Friday, November 28, 2003
How much I pray that God will keep me happy..cheerful.. joyful.. throughout my whole life.. A happy childhood.. It can be called.. But it's a miserable start for a teenage life.. Never happy.. when sinced enter secondary school.. exams were good... some were higher than my espectations.. but some were also lower than my expectations.. the ccA i've joined.. National cadet corps.. didn't even know why i first joined that.. experiencing what? how hard a boy is gonna suffer when he is 19 yrs? i don't think so.. i am not that compasionate.. For what reason? i don't know.. but God knows.. when did i started using online diaries? God knws when.. never happy.. even the lowest part of my life came to me.. i still acted.. as normal.. but nobody knows.. my heart.. when i am smiling on he outside... i am crying in the inside.. when i acted happy.. it looks idiotic.. cuz it was faked.. i just knew it.. my life isnt as worse as David Pelzer.. it's just so damm miserable..
